


A Second Chance At Love

by lita



Series: Second Chances [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-04 09:05:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3062012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lita/pseuds/lita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma felt guilty letting Neal go without any memory of his past after the events in "A Chance at the Second Chance." She came to New York to rectify that so that she could move on. Would she be successful? How truthful was she to herself about her own feelings? Could a former lost girl bring a lost boy home? Contains the Stiltskins' boys and Charming family feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Visit

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as usual for RainMirror to beta this chapter for me. This story was a request by legend fanatic from fanfiction.net who asked for a Swanfire ending for “A Chance at the Second Chance.” Reading that story first will definitely help.

Emma remembered the first time she came here with Gold and Henry. She stared at the numbers. She knew by heart which one she needed to press but that didn't make it any easier. It was a big mistake. She shouldn't have come. She shouldn't have listened to her parents. They found her letter for him. She would like to know she had some privacy but apparently that was not the case with her parents. In a way, she was glad because she missed the stage of her parents snooping around checking on the boys she dated when she grew up. But that didn't make it any easier. Not with her parents' constant talk about true love and the need to fight for it. It was easy for them because none of them kept dying. OK, she shouldn't discount their sleeping curses.

Henry didn't help at all by hinting how great it was to spend time with Neal and Gold in New York. He said it was a different experience with his memory intact and he knew his father loved him and didn't abandon him.

Well, that was the problem, Neal didn't have his memory. At least nothing that happened after he got resurrected so actually he didn't have much memory at all. It was different from the false memory she and Henry got from Regina. At least she had the good memory of raising Henry although sometime she was struggling with both sets of memories. Neal started with a blank slate.

Perhaps it was better that way. He didn't need to remember about being abandoned, Neverland, dying and all his heartaches. He could start anew, meet new women, fall in love, and have his family. She made a mistake. She needed to go back to Storybrooke as soon as possible. Her family needed her.

She swallowed a big lump. Neal's family was in Storybrooke too. He would like to be with his family if he could remember. But he could have a new one here without his nightmares. She was having this back and forth argument in her mind so she jumped when she heard his voice, "Sheriff Swan, what are you doing here?"

Neal was on his way out wearing his hoodie and jeans, his hands were on the gate.

"I came to… Henry missed you. So did Gold."

"I know, I just talked to Henry. He said I was in for a big surprise. I guess he meant you. I wonder what you want to talk to me about. Do you want to come in? Or do you want to get pizza with me? I was going to get lunch."

Emma thought of him asking for a date then she slapped herself mentally. He didn't know her that well and it was a spur of the moment request. "I could use some lunch. I've been famished."

Neal locked up his gate. "Let's go!"

She didn't like waiting. It was now or never, only one way to find out. When he turned, she grabbed his hoodie, pulled it toward her, and kissed him.


	2. The Awkward Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal’s situations were not as simple as Emma initially thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, thanks to RainMirror to beta this chapter for me. Also thanks for the kudos.

Nothing happened. Well, nothing in the term of the usual true love kiss's effect with its rainbow and gust of wind. She knew how screwed up her life was to know the effect of a true love kiss. That didn't happen to normal people.

Something happened with Neal though but not as she expected. He was frozen on the spot and his face turned pink. He didn't exactly pull back from the kiss but he didn't return it either.

_Way to bruise my ego_. She immediately regretted that thought as she remembered his condition.

She stopped abruptly and pushed him away. He staggered and hit the gate until it rattled but she was too embarrassed to check on him. _It didn't work. The true love kiss didn't work. Perhaps they are not meant to be._ She was sure it would. _Perhaps they are not true loves?_ She then remembered the time when her father tried to kiss her mother without her memory. It didn't work either. _Perhaps he just needs to remember their love first._ She groaned inwardly as it took more work than she expected. _But again true love is worth fighting for_. She could practically hear her parents chime in and she rolled her eyes inwardly. _This is very awkward_. She peeked at Neal.

He looked very puzzled. His face had slowly returned to his normal shade. He brushed his back and she felt guilty. "I'm OK, thanks for asking." He then straightened up and chewed his lip, a sign that he was nervous. She hated the fact that it seemed she knew more about him than he himself. "Did I upset you? I'm not sure whether I need to apologize. I don't know how to react when strange women kiss me so suddenly." Emma felt her heart ache more than she expected when he mentioned the word _strange_.

To her annoyance, with typical Neal's smirk, he continued, "I still think the kiss was great though, thanks. I'd like to give you more feedback but as you know, I don't have much data to compare it with. No offense, but I hope there won't be a repeat as I don't kiss strange women." He frowned as he realized something. "Did we know each other that well before my… my accident? I thought you were with that guy in a lot of leather. What was his name again? Killian Jones? I assumed you didn't know me well given we hardly saw each other after I got awoken."

It was now her turn to turn pink. This was much more difficult than what she had expected. "I think I should go." She dragged her suitcase that she put at the corner with her.

Now, it was Neal's turn to look guilty. "Sorry, I didn't see your suitcase. Are you planning on staying in town?"

"Yes, but I changed my mind. I'm going back to Storybrooke."

"Was it because of my reaction? I'm sorry. I've never been in this situation before. Well, perhaps I have but I don't remember." He just shrugged in his nonchalant way. "How about we go for lunch as we intended before you assaulted me?" Emma turned redder but Neal winked at her. "As long as you don't try to be sneaky and try to kiss me again."

She refrained herself from punching him in the arm as she used to when he joked around. "Could you please stop mentioning the kiss? It was a big mistake."

He chewed on his lip again. She felt bad. It was not his fault that he didn't remember. It was she who initiated the kiss. She owed him an explanation but that could wait. "If I'm staying, I need to take my stuff to the hotel opposite first."

Neal played with the end of his hoodie. He said in a very soft tone, "That's OK, you can stay here."

"I don't want to impose. After all, you don't know me."

"Well, you seem to know me well enough. " The infuriating guy winked again "And you are Henry's mother. I treated Henry as if he was my own son, the son I never knew I wanted. I guess whoever brought up Henry couldn't be that bad." Emma's heart clenched at both statements. "It's no trouble at all. I can sleep on the couch. I did that when Henry and Mr. Gold came a couple of months ago."

She felt like reprimanding him, not because he didn't remember, but for accepting a total stranger into his house just because of Henry. _What_ _if she has bad intentions especially after what she did?_ He never learned. But again she reminded herself he didn't remember, it was just his nature to see the good in people, however undeserved it was, and didn't dwell on people who wronged him.

"I really can just stay at the hotel. It's no trouble at all. I don't want to disrupt your life for two weeks."

Neal's eyes widened at the words _two weeks_. To his credit, he said, "That's fine. Somehow I feel the couch is still much better than where I used to sleep." Emma looked up hopefully. _He definitely has some dormant memory._ He continued, "But for the life of me, I can't understand why I have such thoughts." She was proud that she managed to swear very quietly.

* * *

His apartment felt so familiar. She noticed the broken dreamcatcher on his window sill. She remembered the last time she came here with Killian. At that time it was her who didn't remember. Was fate joking with them? She swallowed hard as she remembered it was also Neal who sent the memory potion to her at the cost of his own memory and life. If only she had something similar to give to him. But would he drink it? Well, Neal seemed to be a sucker for getting duped by strangers so he might.

He showed her his room. She refrained herself from saying that she had been here twice, both in some kind of life and death situation. She had scared the poor guy enough in one day.

When she came out from his room, he was on the couch. The couch where Gold lied down after Killian's attack. _How things have changed in relatively short time_. She swallowed hard.

"What are you doing?"

"I needed to text Elaine to tell her we would be late."

She felt déjà vu all over again. She was nearly too afraid to ask. "Who is Elaine?"

"She is the woman I'm seeing at the moment. I hope lunch won't be a problem? "

It was definitely déjà vu. She worried that her voice would betray her so she just shook her head.

"Let's go. I'm sure you will like her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Happy New Year! I forgot to say it in the previous chapter.  
> -Sorry for the mini cliffhangers. There will be a few of them in this story. Please let me know what you think. If you have some idea what could happen during lunch, feel free to tell me.


	3. An Awkward Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma met Neal’s new lady friend and an awkward lunch ensued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some languages.
> 
> Thanks as usual to the awesome RainMirror to beta this chapter for me.

They arrived at an Italian restaurant. When Neal said he would go for a pizza, Emma just thought of a corner store pizza, not a proper restaurant. Certainly not from the casual way he dressed.

Elaine was already seated when they arrived. She rose and Neal gave her a quick peck on both sides of her cheeks. _At least it is not_ _a_ _kiss._ Emma promptly asked her mind to shut up.

Elaine shook her hand. "You must be Emma. I wonder why Neal never mentioned that he knows such a beauty. Nice to meet you."

_Such a brownnoser. "_ Nice to meet you too," she managed as both she and Neal got seated. He was seated next to Elaine, Emma sat opposite her.

To her annoyance, Elaine looked like the lovechild between Uma Thurman and Cameron Diaz. She had long wavy blond hair. _Just exactly Neal's type._ She also noticed her slim feminine figure despite her formal three piece suit. She looked very elegant with her simple diamond ear rings. _Way to get overdressed for a simple lunch._

"Neal, I was serious. How come you never told me about Emma?"

Emma silently smiled. _I'm not the only one feeling jealous_. She quickly added to herself. _No, I'm not jealous. I'm with Killian, he is always there for me, quite literally actually. Neal doesn't even know me_. That thought surprisingly didn't give her any comfort at all.

Neal shrugged. "Well, she is a sheriff in the town where I had my accident. I'm thankful that she told me about my life in New York. Otherwise I would just be stuck in that small town without knowing anything about my past. She is Henry's mother." Emma was surprised that he had told her about Henry. "She just literally dropped in when I was on the way here so I invited her for lunch. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not, any friend of yours is mine." Elaine reached for his hand and held it. "Perhaps she could shed light on your mysterious past." She then turned and smiled at Emma. "How do you know Neal?"

She quickly browsed through the menu. "I'm famished. I could eat an elephant. Can I just order the whole pizza for myself or do you want to share?" She noticed the exchanged puzzled glances between them and ignored them.

The next few minutes were dedicated for choosing food. For such a slim figure, Elaine certainly could eat a lot. Emma didn't expect that. Normally women like her eat like rabbits, she thought ruefully.

_I may as well do my duty and make sure Neal doesn't date another Tamara._

"So how did you two meet?" _I'm 1000% certain it's not over the backseat of a stolen car. Nobody can top that!_

Elaine looked up in surprise as she was still perusing the dessert menu with Neal. She ordered a green tea tiramisu and to no one's surprise he ordered a pumpkin pie. _I guess_ _some things never change_ _._

Elaine answered, "You haven't told us how you know Neal."

Emma gave a casual shrug. "Well, just like Neal said, I'm a sheriff in the town where he had his accident." _That was not a lie either._

"A strange accident indeed. The one where he ended up in coma and completely forgot about his past. Why was he in that town when he lived in New York? The circumstances of his amnesia are also very strange. I've tried different techniques including aromatherapy and hypnosis but he couldn't recall anything at all, not even a slightest image or sound. He said it was all just dark. It never happened with any patient before." Elaine gave Neal reassuring squeeze on his shoulder as he grew uncomfortable as they talked about his condition.

Neal gave a rehearsed smile that didn't reach his eyes. "That's OK. I'm over it. I was not meant to remember."

Emma would have felt more sympathy for him but she was more surprised with what she said. "Patient? Your techniques?"

Elaine smiled. "Well, now I guess I can answer your question about how we met. Neal was my ex-patient. I was his therapist. He came to look for me to find the cure for his amnesia."

Emma suddenly felt irrationally angry. She glared at Neal. "I see that now you have upped your method. First, you picked up girls in the back of a car. Then at a stranger who threw her coffee at you. And now you go for therapists. Well done, Neal. Moving up the social ladder."

Neal looked like a completely lost puppy but she ignored it. She knew this look. This was his puppy dog eyes look. _Don't fall for it!_ "I really don't know what you are talking about. What car? What coffee?"

She felt like slapping herself as she completely forgot the amnesia part when they talked about it just a minute ago. To add insult to injury, Elaine added, "It was me who asked him out. Before you accuse me of acting non-professionally, I only asked him out after I released him from my care. So no conflict of interest."

Now Emma turned her glare at her. Apparently her anger hadn't resided. "Do you ask all your ex-patients out? Perhaps you just make them more vulnerable than they already are and you take advantage of that."

"How dare you!" Elaine raised her hand but Neal was quick to catch it before she managed to slap Emma.

He shook his head and smiled his lopsided smile at Elaine. Apparently the smile worked on other girls too, Emma thought as Elaine seemed to deflate. "Should we cancel lunch now? I would rather eat in peace in my own apartment." Neal asked.

"I'm sorry for my behavior. I was being rude to both of you. I'd rather we stay and eat. I'll pay," Emma said. She could feel her cheeks redden for the third or fourth time today. She lost count.

"I'm sorry that I lost my control and nearly slapped you. I guess we are lucky that Neal's hands are very quick. It's OK, I'll pay."

_"_ You have no idea how quick his hands are," Emma thought. Outwardly, she said, "No, I insist."

"Can we just split before we have another war?" Neal looked at both of them pleadingly.

"Sure."

"Sure."

Lunch was relatively safe albeit awkwardly as they talked about weather, football, and the Oscar snubs.

* * *

After lunch, Emma excused herself to go to the bathroom. She couldn't stand looking at how Neal looked at Elaine adoringly. _That look was reserved for me. I guess I_ _didn't_ _appreciate what I had and I just regret when I lost it again._

She was washing her hands and looked up in surprise to see Elaine walk into the bathroom.

Elaine stood next to her and opened her purse to take out her powder and lipstick. "I know you and Neal have history, no matter how much you avoided talking about it. I'm a psychiatrist, remember? "

"I think everybody can deduce it from my less than sterling behavior."

Elaine smiled. "At least you realized that so there is hope for you. I don't know what your intentions toward Neal are but I don't want him to get hurt."

Emma scoffed. "Me hurting him? I was more worried about you hurting him." She then remembered what she had done so far since she saw Neal today and realized that perhaps Elaine had a point.

Elaine looked at her quizzically. "I really don't know why you suddenly turned up here. You had your chance when Neal was in Storybrooke."

"You thought I wanted Neal back. No, no, I don't want that." She laughed and waived her hand as if Elaine told her a bad joke. "I just want to help restore his memory. Then he can go on with his life and I can go on with mine."

"Well, your behavior doesn't seem to reflect you don't want him back. It doesn't matter. He is a big boy, he can choose. What I wonder is how you are going to restore his memory. I'm his ex-therapist and I failed. That was my first and only failure."

"Is that the reason you date him? To feel less guilty?"

"For a person who claimed not to be interested, you certainly are really interested in the nature of my relationship with him."

Emma shrugged weakly. "I just don't want him to get hurt."

"Well, I didn't ask him out because I couldn't cure him. I asked him out because he seemed to be a very nice guy who wanted only simple things in life. I don't see many of those in New York or anywhere else. Besides, I don't get the chance to meet many new guys given I'm usually very busy with my work. When I saw Neal, I just grabbed my chance. Wouldn't you with the cute smile of his? I guess in a way, I'm lucky that he is single and he practically has no other family in his life."

Hearing her last statement made Emma feel guilty again. "I think he is lucky to meet you rather than some other girls who take advantage of lonely guys. As for my method you asked, I think it's unconventional. I planned to simulate the situations that we had been together and hopefully one of them might trigger his memory."

To her credit, Elaine didn't dismiss her idea and gave it a deep thought instead. "I think that might work. Well, it's better to try something new because I'm really puzzled with his situation. It's as if something magical or supernatural is preventing him from remembering. Well, that doesn't make sense and I may sound like a lunatic to you but I don't have any other explanation."

_Well, lady, your answer is closer to the truth that you expected._ "I guess there is no harm in trying my methods then."

"OK, I'll let you do what you need even if you plan to take him away from me." Emma didn't know how to respond to that as she herself didn't know what to think or feel about Neal. Elaine continued, "As long as you don't put him in harm's way, physically, mentally and psychologically. The poor guy has had enough. He might look outwardly like he had no care in the world but he is actually insecure. He thinks he might be a terrible guy or a bad guy and that was the reason he had the accident. He thinks his amnesia is the way his conscience represses those memories so he won't feel bad. I told him I knew people's characters based on their daily behaviors but he was not convinced. I guess getting his memory back is the only way to make him feel secure."

Emma swallowed hard. _Such a big task for her. It was also ironic that he died a hero but he came back alive thinking he did something wrong. Typical Neal_. "I'll try my best then. Thanks for the tips and information!"

The therapist was putting back her makeup kits which Emma realized she didn't use at all. "Sure, no matter what happen between Neal and I romantically, I still consider him my friend. It's really hard to find a good guy like him. That's why I'm so protective of him. I think he is too naïve for his own good."

"I agree about that. I'll talk to him when we get back to his apartment. Sorry again about my rudeness earlier."

"That's fine. As long as you don't mean harm. Now I must hurry to get back to my practice. I'm already running behind. Bye."

Emma waved her goodbye and thought of the Herculean tasks ahead of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -As usual, please tell me what you think.


	4. A Ride to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal and Emma enjoyed themselves at a theme park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank as usual to the awesome RainMirror to beta this chapter for me. Thanks also for the reviews and favorites.
> 
> Warning: Some language
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't have any association with theme park and the rides mentioned here. I'm sorry if I got it wrong because my research was based on Google.

"What was that all about?" Neal asked as soon as she returned from the bathroom.

"I don't know what you are talking about," she said without catching his eyes.

"Sheriff Swan, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Your behavior since you saw me a couple of hours ago have not exactly been normal. Even I know that with or without my memory."

"I'd like to explain but not here. Unless of course you need to go to work?" She knew he didn't need to go to work today. She had fished out Neal's weekly schedule from Henry. She strongly suspected that Henry knew what she was doing and played along. That kid was sneaky. Must be from his father's side.

He gave a small shrug. "Nah, I'm free today. Is there any place you want to see in New York? I can be your tour guide."

_Of course he would think of me as a tourist. He forgot that I lived here for one year. One year that I spent with Henry. One year that she was back at resenting him. One year where he was…_ She shivered thinking what he had been through. Perhaps he was better off not knowing his past.

"Are you all right? You grew very quiet. If you're tired, that's all right. You can rest and we can go later."

She looked up and saw him looking at her with concern. _Damn you, Neal. You make it so hard to make up my mind whether you are better off not remembering._ She forced herself to smile. "I'm not tired. Just a bit disoriented, coming to New York after the quietness of Storybrooke."

"I know what you mean. I don't know why but somehow I felt that Storybrooke was familiar. Which of course was silly since I lived here for years. Sorry, I don't want to bore you. Where do you want to go?"

"Fantasy Forest!"

"Really?"

"Yes, what's wrong with that?"

"Nah, I just thought it was mostly for families. But if you say so, that's fine. You're the guest." He rose from his seat after wrapping his scarf properly.

_How she_ _missed_ _those scarves!_ _That is not weird at all_. She rolled her eyes at herself. Her small voice added, "Are you sure you don't miss him?" She asked her internal voice to shut the hell up.

"Are you OK, sheriff? You look a bit funny."

She blushed for the five billionth time as she lost count today. Only Neal would make her blush without meaning to. "I'm fine. I just remember the joke Henry told me earlier."

"That kid is a natural at telling jokes. Tell me."

She rose and walked to the door. He followed and opened the door for her. Once they were out, she said, "I'm not good at telling jokes. You'd better ask Henry."

He looked at her dubiously. "How do I know which joke to ask?"

"You can ask him to tell you all the jokes he knows."

He stared at her as if she had grown two heads. After what felt like two hours, he said, "Sure."

"One more thing, you can call me Emma, don't need to be so formal all the time."

"Emma. A good name."

Her heart skipped a bit when he said that. She looked up to check whether he had any recollection. However, it seemed that he was simply happy to be able to call her by her first name. Suddenly she had the urge to cry so she quickened up her pace.

"Emma, where are you going? You're going in the wrong direction."

She quickly returned and walked faster in the opposite way.

"Wait for me!" She could hear him running after her. She forced herself to slow down. When he reached her, he smiled and said, "You walk faster than a New Yorker. By the way, you also can call me Neal."

"Sure," she said without looking at him so it would be easier to rein in her emotions.

* * *

At the Fantasy Forest, Neal purchased the tickets for them. She objected to that. But he waved it off by saying anything for Henry's mother would be fine.

"Where do you want to go first?" he said excitedly. She forgot that in some ways he was still like a child. He got easily excited with simple things in life. After knowing his background, she could understand why.

"How about that carousel ride?"

"Sure." His smile was so wide that it actually helped to lift her spirit up. She definitely missed his smile. He insisted on helping her up on her horse before he rode his own.

"Do you know how you know you really have a home?" She looked at him cautiously.

His right hand went to rub his head. A sign that he was confused with her non-sequitur. "I'm not sure. Why do you ask?"

She felt like her heart had been doused with ice cold water _._ "Nothing, just asking." _Oh, Neal, you don't even remember your own words._ She had to remind him somehow. "Someone wise man once told me that to realize you have a home is when you leave it, you have this feeling, you just can't shake that …"

"You just miss it," Neal completed. He was surprised by his own words. "I'm sorry that I interrupted. It just somehow sounds familiar. What was it that you wanted to say?"

She tried to hold back her tears. "That's fine. You actually got it right."

"Really?" He looked like he had just won a prize. "I must have heard it somewhere. I wish I knew where my home is." He cast his eyes downward. In typical Neal Cassidy fashion, he picked himself up soon after. "Never mind, I can decide where my home is, start anew." Emma felt her heart was in her throat and just nodded. He gestured around the half full carousel. "This ride takes ages to start."

Finally the carousel was full and the operator started it. It went around very slowly and Neal seemed to enjoy himself immensely. She definitely missed those simpler times with Neal when it was both of them against the world.

When the ride was over, Neal insisted on riding again. To be honest, she quite enjoyed it too. Thankfully, adults rode for free for on this carousel, although the gate keeper was definitely not happy when they rode it for the fourth time. After the fifth time, she practically had to drag him away from the carousel.

"Thank you, Emma. That was the most enjoyable ride I have had in my life." He crunched his forehead. "As far as I remember, I guess. I'll definitely bring Henry here the next time he visits."

Her heart ached again for him. She was hoping he would at least remember something by simulating how they met the first time. She couldn't exactly simulate them stealing a car although that might be much easier to jump start his memory. That was the reason she chose a park with a carousel as she couldn't find anything with Italian Trapeze in the area nearby.

"Which ride do you want to do next?" he asked her with unadulterated joy.

"How about that?" she said while she pointed at the Queens Motor Speedway. _It's not really a car but close enough._

"Bring it on."

Emma had to drag him away again after the second round as all those parents were staring at them.

There were not too many rides in Fantasy Forest and some of them didn't allow adults. So after two hours, they ran out of rides so they went to play games. Neal managed to win a Teddy Bear for getting the highest score for shooting a water pistol and he gave it to her. She tried to refuse but again he insisted. Somehow he always won with his puppy dog eyes.

They stuffed themselves with cotton candy until they felt sick. Well, at least she felt sick. Neal could still go on eating but she was sure he would get sick if she didn't stop him.

When they waited for the train, Neal checked his phone while she checked hers. She got two missed calls from Mary Margaret, one from Henry, and twenty one from Killian. She groaned. _How could she not hear that?_ But again, the lunch with Elaine was intense and the park was noisy. She would call them back out of Neal's hearing.

Meanwhile, Neal didn't have such reservations. She reflected that he had no reason to have one. He stood up and walked further as not to disturb other passengers and called Elaine. She tried really hard not to hear what he said but she could still hear the gist about park rides, games, and candies. He even suggested to her that they should go for a theme park for a date sometime.

She tried really hard not to grab the phone from him and smash it. Instead, she just texted her mom, Henry, and Killian telling them she would call them back soon.

* * *

On the ride home, Neal hadn't gone down from his euphoria. She was not sure whether it was from the rides or all the candies. Most likely both.

He had a big dopey smile. "Thank you, Emma. I haven't had this much fun for a while."

She tried to stop herself but she couldn't. "Even with Elaine?"

He shrugged. "It's a different kind of fun. Besides, I've only gone out with her for movies and dinners a couple of times. So there is not much to compare. Today is only our third date."

Emma tried to cover her smile with a small cough. "I see." Of course he just knew her for a short while. After all, he only left Storybrooke a few months ago and most of those times he was her patient. She then felt a pang of guilt for being happy for his misery. She quickly added, "To be frank, I enjoyed myself a lot too. Thank you for accompanying me there!" She realized that she meant it. She really did enjoy herself too. It was much easier to enjoy life without evil relatives popping up like mushrooms every few weeks.

"I'm glad you did. May I ask you something?"

She froze. _What if he started to ask something she couldn't answer?_ She braved herself. "Sure!"

He pointed toward her neck. "Did you buy that pendant because it matches your last name? It suits you."

_Out of all the questions in the world, why must he ask this?_ Although to be fair, all questions regarding him and their past would be difficult to answer.

"No, someone very important to me gave it to me." Twice, she said internally.

"The person has good taste."

"Indeed." She must be frank to him at some point. Or frank-ish. Telling him the whole truth about the nature of their relationships, fairy tales, curses, and his death and resurrection was not feasible. However, she also couldn't go on like this without telling him anything. She owed it to him at least that much. "Neal, I know you've been patient with me and not forced me to explain our weird encounter since this afternoon. We need to talk when we get back to your apartment."

She felt like she had stolen Christmas from him as he seemed to crash down from his euphoria high. He chewed his lip. A sign that he was worried. She remembered what Elaine said in the bathroom.

"Sure," he said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, please tell me what you think. It's too bad there was not enough flashback about their days in Portland. If you have any head canon what they might do in the past, please let me know.


	5. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma finally talked to Neal and revealed more than she planned for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as usual to the awesome Rain Mirror to be ta this chapter for me. Also thanks to the people who reviewed and favorited this story.
> 
> Warning: Some language, angst.

They each sat on the far ends of the couch when they got back to the apartment.

Neal looked up expectantly at her.

"Neal, we used to be together, very close in fact." He didn't show any surprise but that was expected given what she had done today. "But…you left me then I got hurt so much. I vowed not to love anyone anymore and I'd hate you forever." She of course didn't mention that she went to Tallahassee for two years to look for him. Too many cans of worms in one evening.

He was stunned for a while. Finally he managed to say, "I'm so sorry that I hurt you so much. I knew I must have done a lot of wrongs to deserve this."

She quickly covered his hands in hers. "No, it's not like that. I meant you did hurt me. But what I didn't know was you did it with good intentions so that I could be with my family. I didn't know that until I bumped into you a few years later."

He withdrew his hands and used them to rake his hair. "Why did I need to leave you so that you could be with your family?"

"Good question. Damn August!" she thought. She replied, "I forgot to tell you that we were thieves when we met. I stole a car and you were sleeping in the back. You asked me out then."

"I guess that's why you accused me of picking up girls in cars."

She still managed to blush despite the situation. "Sorry about that. I don't know the details of what happened at your end. But someone managed to convince you that you were not good enough for me because you were a thief and I was better off without you. Somehow you listened to him and left me. He also called the police and I ended up in jail because I was an accessory to your past crime."

Neal paled after her statements. "Emma, I really don't know what to say besides saying I'm sorry. How do I make it up to you? Should I find this person that sent you to jail and ask him to make it up to you too?"

Emma thought about the young Pinocchio. She also thought about how Neal had nearly died at the portal, how he had helped in Neverland, and how he had really died so that they could find Zelena. "Don't worry about it. You've made it up to me in a lot of ways. I know you don't remember them but the reason you were in a coma and lost your memory was because you tried to make it up to me without valuing your own life. As for that other person, he's been taken care of so don't worry about it."

He still looked sick. "How can I not think about it? I've done something awful but I couldn't even remember that. What was the crime that you were an accessory to?"

"You're not an awful person. Far from that. Believe me. I wouldn't lie to you about it because I was the one being affected directly." He didn't seem convinced but she couldn't blame him without any proof. "As for your crime, you stole watches from your old boss. We planned to settle down and give up our criminal lives. You wanted to get the watches from your locker but you couldn't because you thought police might be watching the locker. So I volunteered to get it for you." She looked at his horrified expression. "No, Neal, you tried to stop me but I insisted. Anyway, we planned to rendezvous at a spot but you never came. The police came instead."

He put his head on his lap. She heard him mumbling "I'm so sorry" repeatedly.

She came to sit beside him and massaged his back. "It's OK. I'm fine, truly I'm fine. Would I come to try to revive your memory if I was still upset with you?"

He straighten his back and looked up expectantly at her with teary eyes. "So you truly forgive me."

She gave him a hug. "Yes, I do." She was surprised that she really meant it this time. She kept thinking she might understand the motivation of why he left so she'd act civil around him. But somehow he'd managed to break through her walls with his actions since their reunion in Manhattan. She must have forgiven him for quite a while but she didn't realize it until now.

He hugged her back and rested his head at her neck. _How she missed his hug!_

Suddenly he withdrew from the hug and jumped back. "Henry! Is he my son if we knew each other a long time ago?"

_Crap, she didn't think about the repercussion of her reveal._ But she couldn't lie to him. Not after what he did for Henry all this time. She whispered, "Yes."

"I...I somehow abandoned... my own s-son…and forgot about him. What kind of father am I?" Suddenly, he had another realization. "Does this mean Mr. Gold is my father?"

She tried to hold back her tears looking at him like this. "Yes."

"I don't remember him either. I must have been a terrible father and son for them not to want to know me."

He ran to the bathroom. She heard him turning the lock and retching.

She knocked on the door. "Neal, it's not like that. Let me in please!" She still heard him retching. She thought all the sugar didn't help. She heard him flush the toilet but he didn't open the door. "Neal, they thought it'd be better if you got your memory back rather than them telling their relations to you. When they couldn't help, they didn't want to impose on you because they thought you led a very tragic life. They wanted you to be happy even it was without them. They thought you'd be happier with no memory of your life even if the life would be without them."

She kept knocking but he didn't open. She could hear him sobbing quietly. She couldn't stand this emotional situation much. It was bad enough when they were her own emotions, it was worse if they were the emotions of someone she loved. She backtracked at her own thought. _Someone she loves. It can't be right. I loved him but not anymore. I need to get out of here to clear my mind._

She yelled, "I'll get some dinner for us as it's not good for you to be on an empty stomach. I'll be back soon. Please don't do anything stupid. If you don't believe me, just call Henry and Mr. Gold."

She purposefully closed the apartment door loudly so that he'd get out of the bathroom.

* * *

Neal had tried to lead a content and easy going life since he woke up from his coma. He felt very peculiar with his situation but there was really no one to consult about his situation. Nobody came forth to claim to be his family. That was the reason he was very close to Elaine. He could tell her about his uncertainty and insecurity and she didn't judge him. He knew it was her job. But after being lost for so long, it was great to have a listening ear. That was why he was ecstatic when she asked him out. At least there was someone who understood him and was still willing to be with him voluntarily.

Of course, he really liked Henry and Mr. Gold. However, somehow he always thought that they were holding back something from him. Now he knew what they were hiding from him!

Then there was Emma! She suddenly barged into his life and to borrow Elaine's term, his Y-axis shifted. He thought he felt something akin to love when she kissed him but he wasn't sure whether it was love. He brushed it off as hormones. He hadn't been kissed by any woman since he woke up from his coma. So that might explain his reaction. He of course didn't want to act on his feeling because it might be a false alarm.

Spending time with her at the theme park didn't help the unsettling feelings that she was really more than a friend even now. But again, he just thought of it as hormones because he hadn't been in close proximity, his therapist aside, to any woman since he woke up.

Her revelation didn't make his Y-axis shift but it was turned upside down.

Finally he managed to empty his whole stomach and couldn't get anything out anymore.

He felt exhausted so he slid down his door and sat on the floor. He heard Emma knocking and explaining. He wanted to respond and believe her but he really didn't have the energy. He really hoped that Mr. Gold and Henry wanted to be his family but he was worried that Emma might just say that to make him feel better. He was afraid that when he called them, they might deny everything and his hopes to have a family would be dashed.

He heard her closing the door but he still didn't move. Nearly an hour later he jumped up because of a dream he didn't remember and realized that he'd dozed off.

He went to brush his teeth and walked out to get his phone. It was better to know and be disappointed than not to know at all. He wondered where Emma was. He checked his phone and saw there were four miscalls from Henry, three from Mr. Gold, two from Emma, and one from Elaine. He wasn't sure who to call first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Please tell me what you think. If you have any idea about future chapters, please let me know as well.


	6. Phone Calls I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma made a few phone calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as usual to RainMirror for betaing this chapter for me.  
> Warning: Language

Emma was angry with herself that she caused Neal more pain with her revelations. She should have told their story gently. Now Neal would think himself as a selfish bastard. She should have told him the good things that happened when they were together, and when he spent time with Henry, how little that was…

She needed to talk to someone. Her mom was the best choice at the moment. Besides, she needed to return some phone calls.

Snow picked up the phone at the second ring. She must have waited for her to call.

"Emma, are you OK? Why didn't you call me?"

"I'm fine. Sorry, I was preoccupied. And I don't really want to call you when Neal is around. He might question why I call you 'mom.'"

"So is Neal not with you now?"

"That's what I said." She rolled her eyes. Her parents could be so blindly positive but sometimes they seemed to miss the obvious.

"How is he?"

"Well, he was fine until I came this morning. Now I think he is in a worse state."

"Oh Emma, what did you do?"

"Don't Emma me. You are supposed to side with me, not him."

"I wasn't siding with anyone. I was just worried as it seemed you caused the poor guy more pain."

"Well, I kissed him. How about that? Then I pushed him away because he didn't remember me. I also fought with his date. She told me off. We went to the Forest Park for rides. I told him that we were together in the past. He jumped to the conclusion that Henry was his son and Gold was his father. He was upset because he thought no one wanted to be his family so he must be a bad person."

"Slow down, Emma, slow down. So you kissed him. How was it?"

"So from all of that, you just caught the word kiss."

"Well, it was the first sentence. The rest was a blur."

"The kiss would've been fine if he had remembered afterward. Instead, he remained stoic. I never knew Neal for being a monk so he must be faking it or he didn't have any feelings for me anymore."

"Are you upset about that?"

"I'm not discussing my kiss with you, Mary Margaret."

"Fine! So what happened then? I heard something about you pushing him then you got told off and went for a ride."

Emma then told her all the events that happened today chronologically.

After she finished, Snow commented, "Wow, Elaine is something. I really shouldn't say anything rude about her."

"To be fair, I was the one being bitchy to her and Neal, not the other way around. You don't need to say good things just because I'm your daughter."

"You just said earlier that I sided with Neal, not you."

"Well, I changed my mind. Besides, I know that it's my fault."

"Are you sure Neal is OK? You said he got sick and locked himself in the bathroom. He might do something stupid."

"I'm not sure. I was too upset because things were not under control. I'd like to believe from past experiences that he wouldn't do something stupid. Then again this is the guy who was dying so often for the sake of others. I should ask Henry and Gold to call him and calm him down. It's better for him to hear from them directly that they didn't abandon him."

"I could ask Henry to call Neal since he is staying with us at the moment. You can call Gold."

"OK."

"Before you hang up, I'd like to tell you that we are proud of what you are doing. To help Neal regain his memory, to fight for your true love."

"Don't get me started. We're not true loves. And by we, you mean David is listening right next to you, isn't he?"

"He is. Actually we are on the speaker phone."

Emma's face turned pink again after describing her date (did she just call her outing a date?) and adventure for the day.

David chimed in, "Hi Emma, it's so nice to hear from you. No need to be embarrassed. Your adventure actually sounds a bit like our dating and adventures before and after the curse. So there is nothing to worry about. As Snow said, we're proud of you. And we love you."

"I love you too, Dad, Mom." She hung up. She was getting better at calling her parents Dad and Mom. She then remembered that she had been able to reunite with her parents twice because of Neal. Now it was time for her to return the favor, although calling Gold was no picnic.

* * *

Gold also picked up at the second ring.

"Ms Swan, how may I help you today?"

"Cut the crap, Gold. He knows."

She heard a sound of relief which made her feel guilty. "Does Bae remember?"

"No, he doesn't. He just knows that you're his father and Henry is his son. He now feels like you don't want him to be his son so that's why you didn't admit it."

She heard the breaking of glass. After some tense silence, Gold finally spoke which she felt contained with anger, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

"I didn't spill it intentionally. I was telling him that we knew each other quite er…well… a long time ago and he drew his own conclusions."

"Of course, I couldn't expect anything less from you."

Now it was her turn to be angry. "What's that supposed to mean? Hey, like I said it was by accident. You'd better call him now before he does anything rash."

"I'd better," he said through gritted teeth and hung up.

Emma wanted to dial back and tell him off for being rude. She then thought it was really her fault for not breaking it to Neal gently.

She started to get worried about him and dialed his number. However, Neal didn't pick up. She needed to get back to check on Neal but she thought Henry or Gold might have better luck convincing him.

* * *

She decided to call Henry next. He picked up at the next ring.

"Mom, I missed you. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Has Neal called you?"

"No, why? Does he remember me now? Did you break whatever was holding his memory?" There was unquestionable admiration in Henry's voice which she felt bad to disappoint but she had promised to tell him the truth.

"It's complicated, sort of, and no."

Henry sounded dejected. "So he still couldn't remember. Did you try True Love's kiss?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Yes, actually that was the first thing I tried. I panicked, OK?"

She could hear him giggle over the phone. "That's OK, Mom, Gramps didn't manage to break Grandma's curse the first time. It's hard when the other party doesn't remember."

"You know you sounded just like Snow White."

"Well, I have to since I'm her grandson." She rolled her eyes as the positivity really had skipped one generation. Then to prove that Henry was also Gold's grandson, Henry suddenly asked, "What do you mean by sort of? Did he remember I'm his son?"

"Eh, no, he didn't remember but he knows now."

"How?"

"Well, I told him we knew each other a long time ago and he did the math and derived his own conclusion."

"So how did he react to that? Why didn't he call me?"

"Henry, I'm so sorry. I didn't tell him in the best way. He jumped to the conclusion that you and Mr. Gold don't want him to be his family because he did some terrible things in the past. The last time I saw him, he got sick in the bathroom."

"Emma, what have you done?" _So it's Emma and not Mom now._ "What do you mean by the last time you saw him? Is he not with you now?" In a way, talking to Henry seemed to be harder than talking to Gold. She guessed because Henry admired her and she didn't want to disappoint him.

"I tried to get him to open the door but he wouldn't. I thought getting out from the apartment might give him some space."

"I hope he won't do anything stupid."

"Henry, your father is not stupid, impulsive, but not stupid."

"Aren't you worried that he is going to do something impulsive?"

Emma felt very guilty as she didn't think of that. "Henry, I'm going to hang up now and call Neal. Please try to call him too."

"OK, Mom."

She hung up and tried to call Neal again but he still didn't pick up.

* * *

She searched on the internet for Elaine's phone number. She was tempted to call her to check on Neal but that would just mean making Neal like a lamb to the slaughter. She paused at her own metaphor and just shrugged. Besides, it would be awkward after their encounter earlier to suddenly call her.

She texted Gold her number.

"This is Elaine's number. She is Neal's ex therapist and also a woman Neal is currently seeing. If you couldn't reach him, perhaps you could contact her for help."'

She finally made the phone call that she had been dreading and delaying the whole day.

* * *

He picked up at the first ring. _Perhaps he was waiting by the phone._

"Hello, love. I was worried. You didn't call the whole day."

"Killian, I was busy. It's only been around twelve hours."

"It felt like twelve days for me."

She rolled her eyes. "I was busy. Do you remember Neal, your friend?"

"Of course I remember Baelfire. What about him?"

"He doesn't remember his past. Do you remember at least that?"

"Of course, I do. And you said he was better off that way so he wouldn't get hurt. That's why I wondered why you went to look for the lad."

"I felt guilty because I robbed Gold of his son and Henry of his father. If I didn't try anything, I'd feel guilty my whole life."

"Are you sure you're not doing it for yourself?"

"Neal is my friend. Of course I have to help him," she said it a bit too fast.

"Do you still love him?"

"I think that's none of your business."

"I'd say it is since you are my woman now."

"I don't belong to anyone."

"Sorry, Swan. I'm not used to how you say it in this world."

"Good."

"Besides, I'm devilishly handsome. Baelfire is … Baelfire."

Emma felt like her eyes might roll to the back of her head if she tried hard enough. She kept quiet.

"How is Baelfire anyway?"

"So now you ask about him. He is not fine."

"What happened?"

She really didn't want to explain the whole thing again. "He still couldn't remember but now he thinks Gold and Henry didn't want him."

"How could this happen?"

"It's my fault, OK. I'll fix this."

"I'm sure you will. You're the savior after all."

Well, her eyes definitely went to the back of her head. "I need to go check on Neal before he does something stupid. Bye." She hung up before he had the chance to say goodbye.

She really needed to pick up something for Neal to eat. It wouldn't be good for him to have an empty stomach for too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Writing the last phone call was interesting because I don't usually write CS scene and Hook.
> 
> -Next chapter: Neal received and made some phone calls.
> 
> -Please tell me what you think! What part you like or dislike.


	7. Phone Calls II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal made and received some calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as usual to the awesome RainMirror for betaing this story for me.

The decision was taken out of his hands when his phone rang again. It was Elaine.

"Hi, sorry, I was about to return your call."

"Neal, what's wrong? Your voice sounds rougher than usual."

"I had a son with Emma. I abandoned her. Henry is my son. Mr. Gold is my father."

"Wow, that's a lot to take in in one go. Are you OK?"

"Yes," he lied. He didn't want her to worry.

"Don't lie to your therapist. Your voice is rougher, as if you've been crying. Besides, nobody normal is OK after hearing such news. Where is Emma? I need to have words with her."

Neal closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. "She is not here. She tried to explain to me but I was too busy emptying my guts. Literally. Sorry, I shouldn't mention it. I fell asleep in the bathroom and she was gone when I woke up."

"It's OK to feel upset and to cry. That means you're only human. Are you OK now? I should go down there and bring some ginger ale and crackers."

"I'm fine, really. I've slept it off. I should go to Storybrooke right now to be there for Henry."

"At nearly 10 pm? Why don't you rest and wait for tomorrow morning?"

"I'm afraid I won't have the guts to do that if I wait. I need to go pack now."

"Why don't you call them first before you go? Anyway, I'm coming over to your place right now. Don't go before I get there."

"Thanks." He hung up.

He stood to try to pack and called Henry. As soon as he stood he saw dark spots on his vision. He tried to take a step forward but his apartment seemed to sway when he moved. He felt sick and sat down again.

* * *

Henry was about to call Neal again when his phone rang. He saw that it was from Neal.

"Neal, how are you?"

There was some slight hesitation before he heard Neal said, "I'm fine. I'm so sorry, Henry. I should have remembered and been there for you."

"It's not your fault. You had quite an accident. We don't blame you for not remembering."

"We?"

"Mr. Gold and I."

"Am I a bad father? Is that why you don't want me in Storybrooke? You can be honest with me."

Henry could hear his father's silent desperation and his heart ached again. If only he knew how great a father he was in the short time he knew him. If only he remembered Neal then... He must have been heartbroken when he was dying and his son didn't remember him.

"No, not at all. You're the best father I can ask for." _As long as you stop dying_ he silently added.

"Why didn't you tell me then?"

"Because Mr. Gold and my grandparents have a lot of enemies. It's dangerous for you to be here if you don't remember. You couldn't protect yourself."

"Why is it OK for you but not me? I could protect you and myself."

"Good question. Because I have a family who knows magic doesn't sound natural." He answered internally. Externally, he said, "Your accident has shaken us. We think it's best if you stay away from Storybrooke until you remember to be safer."

"I don't want to be safe. I want to be a father for you. I'm coming to Storybrooke right now!"

Henry started to panic because he remembered how stubborn Neal could be. "It's late. Why don't you go tomorrow morning?"

"There are some late night buses to go to Maine. I could get on one of those."

"Why don't you call Mr. Gold first to ask what he thinks? You trust his judgment after all. Besides, I'm sure you want to talk to your father."

"Fine, I will. But it won't stop me from going there tonight."

"You're the best father I could ask for and I'm being sincere. We shouldn't have lied to you about it. I'm sorry. But I'm honest this time. Good night."

He quickly dialed Mr. Gold's number before Neal.

Mr. Gold picked up as soon as it rang.

"Grandpa Gold, Neal really wants to come to Storybrooke right now. I don't think it's safe for him. Could you try to stop it?"

"Thanks, Henry. I'll find a way."

"Thanks, grandpa."

Henry hung up. He was still worried because both Neal and Mr. Gold were stubborn but he was more assured now. Mr. Gold always has a way.

* * *

As soon as Henry hung up, Rumpelstiltskin made a phone call to keep his promise to Henry. The other party was surprised to receive his call but assured him that it would be done.

He was about to call Bae when his boy called him. He was tense as he didn't know what his son's feelings were at the moment.

"Gold speaking."

"Mr. Gold, it's me, Neal, your… _son_ unless you don't want me to be? Then I'm just Neal."

He recognized his son's desperation and silent plea for acceptance. He also recognized that his voice was rougher as if he had been crying before calling him. Knowing his son, he must have been sick too after hearing the bombs from Emma. _Tact certainly was not the Charmings' strong suit_.

"I want it to be. I'm so sorry, Ba..Neal for not admitting it sooner. We thought it would be safer."

"Dad?" he tested out.

He missed him calling him Papa but he would take what he could get. "Yes, son."

There was a sound of relief from the other side. "So you are not really mad at me so you didn't acknowledge me."

"Not at all, quite the contrary. I'm so proud that you're my son. Always was and always will be. If we were mad, why would we visit you in New York? We could have just ignored you after you left."

Bae laughed nervously. It was music to his ears. He missed his son's laughter. _When did his boy get so depressed? Perhaps sharing a body with him didn't help._

"If that's the case, why did everyone worry about my safety? I'm not that fragile."

"I have some powerful enemies that might get to me by hurting you. In fact, they had succeeded when you were in that accident. I don't want a repeat of that."

Bae laughed again, this time it was genuine. "And you think New York is safer than a small town like Storybrooke."

"You really have no idea about Storybrooke. And yes, I think it's safer for you to be in New York for now."

"Tough luck! I'm going there tonight. I need to spend time with Henry and you like a family, not just friends. Nothing you say will stop me."

Well, Bae was always stubborn and impulsive. It was almost endearing if it was not against his wish. "Will it help if I say I'm going to visit you tomorrow? I also have some business to take care of in New York." _Like reprimanding Ms. Swan for what she had done._

"I don't believe you have a real business here. You just want to stop me from going there. Not working. Besides I need to see Henry."

"I can bring Henry tomorrow."

"It's a school day tomorrow. He is not skipping school for me. No, I'm the one going there."

"Would a father's plea work?"

"Would a son's wish be granted?"

Well, his boy was also smart and quick witted. That was the problem.

"Neal, please think about this. It's near midnight, go to sleep. I know you've been sick as I raised you after all. It won't do anyone good if you get sick or into an accident. If you want to go, please wait until tomorrow morning."

"I'm sorry but I'm still going now. I've missed too much in Henry's life. I will pack now. See you soon!" Bae hung up.

Rumpelstiltskin let out a frustrated growl at his son's determination. Then he remembered he had a plan B which he hoped worked.

* * *

He tried to call Emma but her line was engaged. He heard a buzz for his apartment. He stood up and the dark spots were immediately back. He picked up the receiver and heard Elaine's voice.

"Neal, let me in."

"OK."

He pressed the button to open the gate. He was still dizzy so he was holding the wall to stay upright. As soon as he heard the knock on the door, he walked slowly toward it by using the wall as his support.

He opened the door to see Elaine waving some take-out bags.

"I have ginger ale, some crackers and chicken noodle soup. You need to eat something first before you go."

He wanted to reply there was no time as he needed to pack but suddenly everything went dark.

"Neal, please wake up."

He felt a cool cloth on his forehead. He opened his eyes to see Elaine looking down worriedly at him. It seemed his head on her lap. He blushed at their close proximity and tried to get up. It was a bad idea as he got dizzy again and ended up on the floor.

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine." He rubbed at the side his head that had made contact to the floor. "What happened?"

"You fainted. I think you have a very low blood sugar and all that vomiting and stress didn't help."

"How long have I been out?"

"Around 10 minutes. Why?"

"I can still catch the 1:30 bus."

"You're unbelievable. What if you faint on the way there? Who will help you then?"

"I'm sure there is a limit of how many times a person can faint per day."

"No, there is not. I'm a doctor. As your doctor, I order you to eat these foods first to make sure you have the energy."

"What if I don't listen to you?"

"Good luck reaching your bedroom and packing in your state. I'll just let you sleep on the floor in that case. Save me from arguing."

He tried to stand up and the dark spots were back. Luckily she was there to catch him and guide him to the couch.

He tried to lighten the situation. "Your bedside manners leave something to be desired."

"It's tough love for difficult patients. Now drink this first."

He drank the ginger ale and felt much better afterward. His body started to feel warm. He didn't realize it was cold. She opened the pack of crackers. He offered her to take as well but she only took two pieces just to humor him. He finished the whole packet and realized that he was famished.

She warmed up the soup in the microwave and gave it to him.

He winked. "I could live being served like this every day."

"In your dreams. I only do this for fainting and stubborn patients."

"Perhaps I should faint more often."

She shook her head. "Shut up and eat. And no, I had my dinner so no need to offer me any."

He intended to eat only a few spoonfuls before packing but his body disagreed after being starved. He gulfed it down in three minutes. He felt much better now. He needed to pack and go.

He was glad that he didn't see any dark spots anymore when he stood up. However, he felt his head and body get extremely heavy, like he had been drugged. _The food!_ He wanted to ask Elaine but his mind started to get fuzzy. He sat down and closed his eyes involuntarily. He forced them to open but everything got blurrier and heavier. Then everything was dark again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -One thing that annoys me in the show besides Neal's death that shouldn't happen for a "family show" is the fact that Henry didn't even remember him when he died. It still bothers me now.
> 
> -Please tell me what you think.


	8. Two Competitors Walked Into a Bedroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Elaine had a second round of talk. Neal worried about what they talked about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as usual to the awesome RainMirror for betaing this story for me.

Emma returned to his apartment after she picked up some Chinese take-outs, Lo Mien and Kung Pao chicken, which used to be Neal's favorite. It was impossible to get any Chinese or any Asian cuisines in Storybrooke given most fairy tale characters were inexplicably Caucasian. Don't get her started with Mulan as she was not from a fairy tale. Besides, she was a warrior. She couldn't stop to imagine Mulan opening a restaurant during the first curse. Was it racist to think all Asians prefer to open a restaurant?

Her thought was interrupted when she tried to open Neal's apartment but it was already unlocked. She felt immediately guilty that Neal might not have been able to go out because she might have taken the only copy of his keys on the coffee table. She should have thought about it but lately she seemed to operate more on instinct rather than logic.

His apartment was mostly dark except for the reading light next to the coffee table. She was surprised to see Elaine staring at her with a book on her lap.

"What are you doing here?"

Elaine put her forefinger on her lips and motioned Emma to follow her into the bedroom.

Only then did Emma realize that Neal was fast asleep on the couch. That was suspicious because Neal couldn't fall asleep that easily and he usually woke up with the slightest noise. She followed Elaine into his bedroom. She closed the door behind her.

"What have you done to Neal? Did you drug him?" At the same time, Elaine asked, "How could you leave him after dropping bombshells like that? He really wanted to know his past but not this way. He might have done something he would regret."

"I was not thinking," Emma answered. Again at the same time Elaine replied, "It was not my idea."

They both got frustrated. Elaine motioned Emma to start first.

"I was not thinking. I didn't mean to tell him about his father and his son. I just told him we used to be together and he did the math. He knew Mr. Gold was Henry's grandfather."

"Yes, obviously you don't do much thinking given the way you have behaved since I met you." Emma stared at Elaine but she kept her mouth shut because she had a point. It seemed she only acted on instinct when she was around him. "Did you also tell him that he abandoned you?"

"Yes," she replied meekly. "I just blurted it out."

"I guess you must be really bitter to mention it the first chance you got."

"Hey, that's not fair. I didn't mention it on purpose. He was wondering why we were not together so I told him."

"Could you not break it to him gently? Did you even tell him about the good times you had together first before taking the plunge?"

Emma's face reddened for the billionth time that day. "I panicked! Happy? Besides you drugged him so that didn't make you blameless. Why did you do it anyway? I presume not to take advantage of him."

"Of course not, he's my friend first, ex-patient second, and boyfriend or whatever the term you used for people-who-date-but-not-a-couple last. I'll never take advantage of him. Besides he's very vulnerable with his amnesia and a burning desire to have a family, what kind of therapist do you think I am?"

"But you still drugged him anyway!"

"It was not my idea."

"So you admitted that you did drug him!" Emma said triumphantly. It was pretty silly to want to win such trivial things. She guessed she must really think of Elaine as her competitor.

"Yes, I don't deny it. It was Mr. Gold's idea. He called me after he said he couldn't contact you. He knew how determined his son is when he puts his mind into something. I guess it never changes with amnesia. He knew Neal would want to return to Storybrooke. He asked me to drug Neal so that he could rest. Mr. Gold will come here first thing in the morning."

Emma hadn't expected that. But again, Mr. Gold always did the unexpected so she shouldn't be surprised. "So you just follow the instruction of any stranger calling you."

"Of course not. I was hesitant. When I got here, Neal fainted and I needed to pick him up. Even with his condition, he was still determined to go to Storybrooke with a bus at 1:30."

Emma grimaced at that information. "Yes, that sounds like Neal."

"It was right then that I decided to follow Mr. Gold's instruction before Neal got hurt with his stubbornness."

"Is he OK now? Why did he faint?"

"I presumed it was from the lack of blood sugar, and the roller coaster of emotions he experienced in a short amount of time." She directed an accusing look at Emma with her last sentence. "I have given him some food so he should be OK when he wakes up."

"You could have just given him some food without drugging him," Emma said stubbornly. There was no way she would let Elaine win this round.

"Sure. Do you want him to take a bus at that hour? I was under the impression that Neal would be in danger if he were in Storybrooke so that was why he needed to stay here."

Emma couldn't argue with that. It seems every literary villain likes to attack Storybrooke at least once. Perhaps they had a competition among themselves who could make the most destruction and win a trophy of some sorts.

"But you still drugged him…"

"Yes, and you just dropped some truths and left him like that …"

"OK, OK, we both made mistakes. Some are worse than others." Emma didn't bother explaining whose was worse. "What do we do now?"

* * *

When Neal opened his eyes, it was early morning. He was wondering where he was. He then realized it was his living room. Why was he here rather than in his bedroom? Suddenly, it all came back to him. Emma, the kiss, the disastrous date, the theme park, the truth from Emma, the phone calls, then Elaine's visit. He remembered eating something she gave him then everything went dark. Was he drugged? Why would she do that?

He sat up and noticed that his bedroom door was slightly ajar. He crept quietly to his bedroom. He pushed the door open and saw that both Emma and Elaine slept on his bed. It was either a dream come true for some perverts, which Neal was 99.99% sure he was not even without his memory, or a nightmare. So a sort-of-an-ex-who-he-didn't-remember and a sort-of-girlfriend or whatever you call for people-who-date-but-not-officially-a-couple-yet slept together in one room, and not only a random room, HIS bedroom. What could they possibly talk about if it was not him? He wondered why some people were proud to have more than one girlfriend, it seemed to be more like a nightmare!

He then remembered that he needed to go to Storybrooke. When was the next bus?

He snapped out of his reverie when his apartment's bell buzzed. He quickly went to answer them before it woke both women. Anything must be better than finding out what they talked about.

"Who is it?"

"Mr. Gold."

His heart skipped a bit when he heard that. He quickly pressed the button to release the gate. "Please come in! It's open."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Sorry for the delay in update. I was angry with the show from what I heard about the finale. They could practically resurrect anyone but Neal (and Graham plus Marian). Zelena and Maleficent died in real world but could be resurrected. Not to mention Henry said it was Hook who taught him sailing. Even Neal didn't get credit for teaching Henry. He only got the chance to spend only a little bit of time with Henry and he died twice for Henry. Could the show at least honor that? Sorry for the rant but it's the truth. Then I got busy. I still am actually so the update will be sparse.
> 
> -Please tell me what you think.


	9. The Good Sons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumple finally manages to have some quality time with his son without any imminent danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, thanks to RainMirror to beta this chapter for me.

Baelfire looked hesitant for a second before giving him a hug. Bae had always been a hugger. He returned the embrace.

After a few seconds, Baelfire released his hug and scratched the back of his neck. A sign of nervousness. "I'm sorry. I don't know whether you want to be hugged. I thought the situation was warranted."

"Don't worry about it. You've been always been a hugger even when you were young."

"You need to tell me more about my childhood. My mind is not as it used to be."

"Pssht, B-, Neal, don't joke like that. You can ask me a specific question then I'll try my best to answer." Without revealing that we were from another world, we had lived for hundreds of years, and you had died and returned. He didn't like lying to his son. Perhaps he could apply selective truth. "Perhaps we can come in first."

"Oh, sorry about that. Where are my manners?"

Bae led him to the couch. He raised his eyebrows seeing that it had been slept on. He thought he knew who was in the bedroom.

"Do you want some tea?"

"Tea will be nice."

Baelfire went to the kitchen to boil some water. Rumple looked around the apartment. He remembered the first time he had been here. It was around one and a half years ago. How he needed to pick the lock and Henry acted as the lookout. How Bae didn't want to have anything to do with him and only came back because he got attacked by Hook. He often wished that Bae hadn't gone to Storybrooke. Or perhaps he shouldn't have gone and found Bae. He would never have died. Now was his second chance to start fresh. Perhaps it'd be better if Bae never remembered seeing he had suffered so much. It'd be cruel to let him remember all those things.

"A bit of milk and two sugars?" Bae's question broke him out of his reverie.

"Sure. You remember how I like to take it."

"Of course. I'd never forget how you treated me before…before… I've always thought of you as a father I thought I didn't have."

"Oh, Son, I'm so sorry. I should never have lied to you. It's just…I thought I had lost you for good then you came back. You had your…your accident because of my fault. I thought if you didn't remember me, you'd be safe."

Baelfire put a tray with two cup of tea in front of him. He sat down and swallowed a lump in his throat. "That's..that's fine in the end I guess. I…I..I thought I was a bad person, hence no one wanted me."

He quickly enveloped his son in a hug and Bae hugged back. "I'm so sorry. I really shouldn't have done that. You were never a bad person. Quite the contrary actually. You're one of the best people I've known. And I've lived a long time and seen a lot of scum or people masquerading as heroes because they have titles or looks. Mind you, people are superficial, but they do bad things with the excuse of true loves or saving kingdoms or whatever excuses they use to be able to sleep at night. You were never one of them. It's not bias because you're my son." He heard Bae chuckle. "I'm not joking. You just have strings of bad luck. Of course you made mistakes, you never intended to hurt people but you thought you were doing what was best for others. But when you realized your mistake, you kept trying to do the right thing. If that's not the mark of a good person, I don't know what is."

Bae released the hug. "Thanks. It's sort of comforting although I really don't have any idea what you are talking about. How did I get into the accident? What kinds of mistakes and bad luck? Who have I accidentally hurt? Did you say kingdoms and true loves? Do we still do that in this century? They sound very medieval."

Rumple realized that he had said too much even though he tried to be as abstract as possible. "It was just a figure of speech. I guess I've been reading too many archaic books that Belle is obsessed with. Shall we drink our tea before they get cold?"

He could see that Baelfire wanted to ask more and knew he was evading. He seemed to mull it over, then decided to drop it for now. "Sure. I even still have the ginger biscuits you like. Let me get some for you." He walked to the kitchen again.

Get it together, Rumple. It was hard because instinctively he wanted to comfort his son so much. He knew all about Bae's nightmares, fears, and insecurities, thanks to sharing one body for nearly one year. He never had time to help Bae's psychological issues before his death. But again Bae didn't remember any of them so perhaps it didn't matter. What matters is the present time.

Baelfire finally managed to find the ginger biscuit from one of his numerous cupboards. He sat down next to his dad. He looked hesitant. "May I ask you something?"

Rumple dreaded the question. "Sure."

"How did I normally address you? Dad? Pop?"

He missed his son calling him Papa. But this was a small price to pay if his son was alive and happy. "Whatever you like, Son. I don't mind. I won't favour your other siblings if you address me wrong."

"Do I have other siblings? Is there something you haven't told me? Oh no, is Belle pregnant? Will I be a big stepbrother?"

That went unexpectedly. "No, no, Son. She is not pregnant. I was joking that I'll still love you no matter what you call me."

"Can I call you Pop then? It just sounds less informal and you're not that old."

"Why thank you, Son. Sure, you can call me Pop."

"Please drink you tea, Pop."

Rumple's heart warmed at the sound of that. He was not wrong. Bae could call him anything and he would still be happy.

They drank their tea in companionable silence. He then remembered that Bae had slept on the couch. "Why did you sleep here? Do you have a guest living in your bedroom?"

"Two, in fact. Emma and Elaine. You know Emma, you haven't met Elaine. They were still sleeping when you came. I don't want to wake them up."

Rumple raised his eyebrows. "Two, you said."

Baelfire pinkened. "No, it's not what you think. Besides, I slept on the couch."

"You don't know what I was thinking, Son." He liked to see this side of his son. He missed Bae's teenage years where he would sneak out to meet a girl, thinking that he wouldn't know or approve. Well, he assumed that would have happened had they not been separated. Baelfire had always been a good looking kid. He would've been popular among the girls. Unless the women were into leathers, empty flirts, and pirates. He gritted his teeth.

"Are you OK, Pop? You don't seem happy. I can assure you nothing above PG13 happened here last night. I just remember vomiting and falling down a few times." He grimaced.

"That's not what I'm thinking about. Even if I'm correct about what you thought I thought, it's none of my business. You had Henry so I believe you know what you are doing."

It looked like Bae wanted to disappear from the face of the earth. Rumple was alarmed because those have actually happened twice to him. It was better to change subject. "Speaking of Henry, he gave me some gifts for you. He apologized he couldn't come but Regina is strict and it is near exam time."

He handed the bundle to Baelfire. Bae grinned so widely like it was his first Christmas. In a way, it was his first Christmas after the resurrection. "Henry shouldn't have. I understand he's in school right now."

"Well, he insisted. I guess stubbornness runs in this family." He looked at Baelfire's right hand as he was opening the present. The mark created by the key of the Vault was still not there. He was really worried that one day it would reappear and Bae would be taken away from him again. Perhaps this was indeed a new start. He needed to thank whatever deity that had helped Bae

Baelfire produced two scarves, one grey and the other one dark blue. His eyes brightened. "How does he know I like scarves?" Rumple raised his eyebrows. "Oh, right, silly question." There was also a box of pumpkin pies. Bae grinned so widely and Rumple was really glad to see that. There was also a card at the top of the box. Rumple wondered how Henry managed to get all these in one night.

Baelfire opened it and read out loud.

"Sorry, Dad, for not telling you the truth earlier. I've always wanted to but the adults said it would be too dangerous for you. Here are my tokens of apologies. I hope you like them. I'll come to visit you soon after I finish my exams. You're the best Dad I could ever hope for. Love, Henry."

There were tears in both of their eyes.

"Henry is a great kid." Baelfire stammered.

"He is. You're not so bad yourself."

"I should call him but he is in class. I'll text him." Baelfire typed in his phone and before he hit send, he read it out loud for Rumple's benefit. "Thank you so much for your lovely gifts. I love them. Don't worry about not telling me earlier. I appreciate your honesty. I'm going to wear the dark blue scarf right now. I hope you are doing well in your examinations. I'm sorry I can't help you with your studies. You're a smart kid. You're going to do well. Take care and I love you. Talk to you soon!"

Rumple was touched by the honesty and the great bond between Henry and Bae. Even when Bae didn't remember. "That sounds all right."

"Thanks, Pop. I'm sending it now."

"I've done what Henry asked me to do. Should we go out for brunch with those two lovely ladies of yours?" He couldn't help it. He liked to tease him. He enjoyed seeing the carefree side of his son. Their relationship had been tense in the last couple hundreds of years which was the understatement of the millennium.

Baelfire spluttered. "As I said, they're not my ladies. They're their own persons. I don't own them. I don't even think they think of me that way."

"Relax. I was just teasing you. I'm sure they think of you more than as a friend. Otherwise, they wouldn't have stayed here."

"Fine, I'll go to check if they have woken up," Baelfire said that but it seemed like he would rather face a pack of lions. Baelfire seemed to be a magnet for dangerous ladies. Not that Rumple himself was innocent in that regard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I presume Neal had only spent at most a couple of weeks in Storybrooke before getting shot, plus the events of Neverland which only lasted a few days, one missing year, then when he died and got resurrected so it would be around 1.5 years give or take. It's ridiculous that Neal and Rumple didn't manage a proper talk in between that time because the show thrives on action rather than characters and family interactions. The closest they had was when Neal held his father's hand in Miller's Daughter and when they hugged after rescuing Henry. Again if they care about this father and son's relationship which made me love this show, they wouldn't have killed off Neal. I went a bit beta in some parts to express my opinion of the show now. Sorry for the rant.
> 
> -Next is the awkward lunch part two, except that it's brunch and Rumple is involved.
> 
> -Please tell me what you think.


	10. A Father's Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal confronted Elaine, Emma felt jealous, Gold was being Gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, thanks to RainMirror to beta this chapter for me.
> 
> Warning: Some language

As soon as they finished their tea, Gold excused himself to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Neal called for Elaine to ask her to explain why she drugged him. Emma tried to listen in to the conversation from the bedroom. Emma didn't consider herself nosy. She was just concerned about Neal's wellbeing. Well, she wouldn't mind if Neal broke up with her.

She knew she wouldn't be so lucky and Neal was the type to forgive. That didn't mean she didn't want Elaine to be put down a peg or two.

"Do you always follow the order of someone you just talked to on the phone?"

"No, Neal. I don't do that. It seemed to be the only logical choice. You were so stubborn."

"But drugging me without my consent is horrible."

"If it is meant to save you, then I'll do it again in a heartbeat. I'm still a doctor. Sometime we need to do what's best for the patient. It's not like my choice is either saving someone or harming them anyway. And the end result is you still see your father anyway."

"But..."

"And don't worry about Henry. Your father said that Henry can Skype with you later today."

"Will he? I'm looking forward to it."

Neal sounded excited when Henry was mentioned. Emma was not sure whether she should be proud that Henry was always Neal's top priority even without his memory or be annoyed that he forgave so quickly.

"I won't lie about such a thing. I know having a family is important for you."

Emma's heart ached. She had been cruel to ask Neal to move to New York. But it was not like Gold didn't have the opportunity to tell Neal the truth. He just let Neal go.

"I believe you. But no more drugging please."

"I won't make promises I can't keep but if you are willing to be reasonable then I won't do it."

Emma snorted. Neal was the last person to be reasonable when his family was involved.

"I can't make that promise but at least be frank with me next time."

"OK, I will."

Emma peeped through the hole and to her annoyance they hugged. That type of hug was reserved for her. At least they didn't kiss.

She jumped when she heard someone clearing his throat behind her. She turned around to see Gold standing right behind her.

"Being a peeping Tom now, Ms Swan."

"I...I wasn't peeping. I wanted to make sure she wouldn't hurt Neal."

"Sure, Ms Swan. Like you wouldn't hurt him by making out with the pirate when you were aware that my son was in love with you. Or let him die in the forest."

"That is not fair. I didn't know Neal was alive then. And I didn't know he was going to die."

"But you surely moved on very quickly as soon as my son was buried. I heard you made out with that pirate after his funeral."

Emma couldn't retort because that was sort of the truth. They both jumped by a loud knock on the door.

"Emma? Pop? Are you done? I'm starving. Let's have pizza."

"Coming, son. I hope the pizza in New York is as good as you make it out to be." Gold smiled menacingly as he stepped passed Emma. He whispered, "Don't you dare go ruining my son's happiness." He nodded curtly and opened the door.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and followed him out.

"I can't compare it with other places, pop, because of my memory." Neal pointed at his head. Emma saw Gold's shoulders tensed. "But I think they all have high standards here."

"I'm going to take your word for that. Are you going to wear that?" He pointed at his son's hoodie and jeans.

"What's wrong with these?"

"If you want to look like a hobo, then I guess this is the look to go for."

"Are you insulting what I wear? What's wrong with being comfortable?"

"There is comfortable, then there is slumming it. No son of mine is going out wearing something the cat dragged in."

Neal raised his hands in defeat. "I can't believe it. I've had a father for one hour and he already orders me what to wear." He looked at Elaine for support.

Emma found it hurt more than it should.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on who you ask, Elaine was conveniently talking on her phone. She gave a small wave at the group.

He looked at Emma. "You can't possibly agree with him."

"Don't bring me into this." She shook her head. She was not going to be dragged into the middle of the Stiltskins' fights. She knew how stubborn they all were, including Henry.

"I can't believe this. OK, fine, I'm going wear my own suit then."

"The cheap second hand suit you got in your cupboard there? Not a chance!"

"It was not cheap!" He did a double-take. "How do you know I have that suit?"

"I was in your room when you chatted with Elaine."

Emma didn't know when Gold had the time as she was in the bedroom. But she couldn't put it past Gold to be sneaky when he needed to be. She also noticed he called Elaine by her first name but he called her by "Ms Swan". He must really hate her then. _Well, not that I need his approval anyway._

"How? It was such a short time."

Gold shrugged.

"Perhaps we can go buy a suit after lunch." He looked hopefully at his old man.

"That's where you are wrong. I brought these with me." Gold opened his briefcase that he put on the floor and produced three pairs of suits and a pair of shoes.

"I don't think I can fit into your suits."

"That's where you are wrong _again_." Gold smirked. "They are your sizes including the shoes."

"H..How? How d..d..do you know my measurements?"

"Easy. You slept at my house so I had access to all of your belongings."

"That's not creepy at all."

Emma agreed with Neal's sentiments.

After putting up a lot of fuss, finally Neal relented and changed into one of the suits. With great reluctance, he put on the new shoes too.

Looking at the result, Emma actually agreed with Gold. He looked great in his blue suit. His resemblance to Gold was uncanny especially his eyes. She noticed the material of his clothes seemed to be similar to Gold's. Must be Armani or some expensive shit Gold bought.

Gold gave him a nod of approval. Despite the fuss he gave earlier, Neal seemed to glow with his father's approval.

By the way Elaine was giving Neal a once-over, she seemed to appreciate it as well.

That gave Emma a pang of pain which she credited to her hunger. "If Your Highness is done with dressing up, some people actually need to eat."

Neal sobered up. "Sorry, Emma. We could've gone sooner if it was not for some people's stubbornness about dress etiquette. I'm starving too." There was no heat in his statement so at least he seemed to enjoy his clothing.

Emma felt like she was the bad guy in the group even though Elaine was the one who drugged him _. This is going to be a long lunch!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The awkward lunch part two will be in the next chapter. This prelunch thing is longer than I anticipated so I split the chapter. Otherwise, it'll take longer time for me to update.
> 
> -I hope they are in character. I'm actually struggling to write Emma as I heard she was not the same person I liked back in S1 and S2 anymore. I hope Gold is not too over the top.
> 
> -There is a point to Neal's clothing choice. It's not only because I want him to dress up more like his father.
> 
> -Comments and feedback are appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think. I was hesitant to write Swanfire given the way the show was written in 3B and 4A but after the request from legend fanatic, I got the plot bunny that wouldn’t stop biting my mind ankle until I wrote this.


End file.
